By Force
The 2 call centre agents sat there
On idle time jeans around their ankles
Scratching each other’s’ jock itch
Till it stopped itching and bled
Then putting alcohol on it
Oh how it stung such pain!
Then they wanked the other off
Mutual masturbation till they came
It was the other agent who came first
His cum jetted onto the pc keyboard and floor
Then his pal came all over the place
Then security arrived to remove them both
By force if necessary for this was immoral!
Call Centre Life
The call centre was a hustle bustle of activity
The reps were all busy with headsets on
Listening to customers and watching screens
Typing while talking while working while thinking
Between calls some joked and laughed
Others dozed hoping to avoid an IR
8 hours a day Monday to Friday or weekends
5 days a week with 2 off often with RDOT
Rest Day Over Time which was mandatory
What wasn’t mandatory was reading the message!
TL would moan but hey you were busy drinking
Not thinking about work except when you was there
The Production Floor was vacant at 01
Such was call centre life always on the go
Real Bitch
The female called me up a free wifi call
Inbound coming to me
How nice of her to call
A youngish female caller
No chat or flirt or numbers exchange
You call me many times
Stop it or I will kill you
I don't care what country you are in
I will find you and kill you
Be nice I said she still ranted on
I let all my team listen to it
Her ranting evil recording
I'll watch my back just in case
The crazed called female hunts me
Killing me badly what a bitch
For her emotions were real
I know her email for revenge
Send her a dick pic
Suck that bitch
2 Egyptian Scam Brothers
There were 2 Egyptian brothers who lived in Miami
Both did scam call centres all over the world
They flew all over the globe setting up scams
Preferring to meet face to face with their tools
Who they used to scam innocent customers
Setting up fake legit call centres here and there
Small and medium centres worked best
Easier to hire and fire staff then and start over
Brian worked for 1 of the brothers’ years ago
And was owed money for pain gel sales
He was paid for 3 but not 32 outstanding sales
Brian wanted to kill both Egyptian brothers
But that was a little over the top so he reported them
On 47 different blogs and international crime sites
Including Interpol and the FBI to get even
Plus he would beat them up if he caught them
Beware of 2 Egyptian scamming call centre bros
Agent performance/fails month after month, chop time!/new job needed now
Middle Aged German
Brian felt it was time for change
Pressure of sales was huge
Even if the rewards were high
The ego boost was great
With nice money to spend
Yet he needed a change
Not going to Thailand
Then the Philippines to call
Six months in each country
Six seven more years doing this
Look at what he’d achieved
He proved it to all people
He could learn a new job
In his forties no easy feat
Way back in 2010 he was offered
A call centre job no he said
I want to requalify on the forklift
Put me thru for my test
Not some stupid call centre job
Now it was his main job
He’d had enough and wanted out
Maybe he’d go to Holland
And write full time instead
Of only part time due to now
A wage slave in the BPO
Albeit a very skilled one
On B2B accounts but hey
Brian missed Germany and well
New adventures were needed
Not just returning for a month
His future was an open book
One that he would soon rewrite
Eight Rice Cups
“How many cups of rice did you have Fred?” the body builder asked Fred.
“I ate one cup of rice mate,” Fred replied.
“Do you know how many I ate?”
“No I don’t, how many?”
“I had eight cups of rice!”
“That’s way too many mate!” Fred was shocked. Their lunch dinner break was only an hour. That included going from the call centre to the eating place, ordering food, eating it then going back. “Why did you have so many?”
“It’s free and all you can eat plus I’m bulking myself up for body building. I need the mass to turn into muscle.”
“I see. Yes I know you need the mass for muscle. It’s all carbs. My old workmate used to do that.”
“Yes. Free food helps so I’m not paying for each rice cup. I work out after shift every day. Do different muscle sets.”
“Good luck with it. I did weights a while ago but never ate a lot. Plus I did a manual job in a bakery. I’m full with what I’ve just eaten too.”
“Come on you two we need to go back now. We need to be back in the training room in five minutes,” one of the gals said. The body builder hurriedly finished his mean and Fred drank some more water. They were all learning Comcast tech support systems. It was intense with a power tripping trainer who only spoke in vernacular.
2nd OM
The 2nd OM asked the rep how he was. You get on with your team mates yes? He nodded and said he did. Then he told the 2nd OM of his 2 stolen sales this week. One by the chat team and the other by the rival call centre. It was good he vented his annoyance and said he’d escalated it immediately. And it was good he said he wanted credit for his stolen sales. It was good that he told the 2nd OM how the 1st OM had been before. How elitist his support team had been. That was fine if they were a military unit of F16 Viper pilot splashing Russian stealth fighters. But it was a call centre and it was us and them. Now it’s changed and all is fine. He enjoyed telling the 2nd OM he should be trained in all the Lead Generating, Fronting and Closing skills. Even if you never use them they’re there. It was a good talk.
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