The Beginning

 

The Beginning

Satan: "This is near the beginning Demang. There is a way where we can be so powerful. We can control the entire world."

 

Demang: "I like the sound of that Master. I do. Please tell me more Mighty Satan."

 

Satan: "We build items and goods here in your country, China. We sell them to the world and make a huge profit beyond our wildest dreams."

 

Demang: "Oh Master! Money, all the money in the world will be ours. I like that!"

 

Satan: "Tell me what comes with money Demang?"

 

Demang: "Influence Master."

 

Satan: "And power my slave. Never forget power. Yes influence brings power. There are two ways to do this. We either make high quality goods or make low quality goods. Do you know the difference?"

 

Demang: "Yes Master. High quality means our customers will only buy an item one time for it will last. Low quality means they will buy the same item a dozen times for it will keep breaking and need to be replaced."

 

Satan: "Exactly my slave. Exactly. We make low quality goods so they keep spending their hard earned money. This gives us more control over everybody. We control them for they buy our items and we have their money and they must keep working to pay for our goods. We have total control over them which gives us power."

 

Demang: "Yes Master. They are our slaves and in our pockets and we have power over them."

 

Satan: "I have power over them for I am Mighty Satan!"

 

Demang: "Yes Master. You have power over them. You are in charge. What a great idea."

 

Satan: “Correct. You are my slave and servant here on Planet Earth Demang. I can only walk on the surface for short periods of time. Through you my cause will be achieved. You are my vessel. I will control the entire world!”

 

Demang: “I will always serve you Master and never let you down. Never Master. Whatever you need doing I will do Mighty Satan.”

 

Satan: “Great to hear Demang. I know you will not fail me. You have certain qualities that suit you for this role.”

 

Demang: “Thank you Master for your kind words. Let me know when this starts.”

 

Satan: “It starts right now. Your country needs modernising. For that you need financial investment. For that you need America and then also Europe. This will take time. Follow my plan and instructions. This simply will not fail. Do not expect results immediately. First get the Americans here. Start with their leader. The rest will all fall into place. You will see.”

 

Demang: “You are a genius Mighty Satan! A real genius. I will do what it takes to get the Americans on board. Then everything will be modernised and we will make the goods the world wants.”

 

Satan: “And then power follows and what I explained before. Full control. That’s for the future. Set up a meeting with Nixon and go from there.”

 

Satan: “Yes Master…”

***

lol call centre stories screw em all

 

 

 

Antelope Five

The call centre rep went to work even though he had bad health issues. There was his bad gout in his left foot. His toe was so sore and he limped like an old man. He had water on the knee and couldn’t bend his knee fully. It was all puffy and sore. This was the same time as the gout and very debilitating. On his arm was a bursitis. All infected green leaking puss. He thought it was a mosquito bite but it came from inside his arm. A sore back was the return of his 1991 dead man’s shoes wet tile fall injury. While taking calls he reached down for his bag. His back was sore and didn’t feel right. He was bed ridden then for two days. Flu viruses of varied severity hindered him as did allergic coughs and hay fever. These are an example of illnesses and ailments the call centre agent put up with while working. He went to work unless he couldn’t walk. Like when his right ankle started off with Stage 2 arthritis. Even lying in bed hurt! One time the blood vessels burst in his eye and his white eye was all red and scary looking? Is this related to his enlarged blood vessel rubbing on his eyelid and irritating it so he struggle to see clearly? What will the call centre rep suffer from next health wise?

 

 

 

Wallflower

The gal was called Wallflower. She was just that all things a wallflower were and should be. This gal was an agent in a call centre for several years on different accounts. She was now on a Business To Business B2B account. Here she was an agent then coach and finally supervisor. She got her promotion from fucking the supervisor who now was a manager. They went out on dates, had sex in his old car on the car park and when on team building. He was the fourth manager she'd nailed. Two had given her babies. None of the others were still with the company. She had longevity and tenacity. When this manager was booted or left she would nail a fifth one. It was her way. While only 34 she had done a lot and planned much more. By showing she was smart and opening her legs any male manager was her oyster and she the pearl. Her name was ***** and we called her Wallflower. No description is needed except she was good at her role and definitely typecast. Do you know any such gals in your place of work?

 

 

Fake God With Lap Dog

Fake God was a well-trained manager in a B2B account with sales experience and an ability to deal with all types of customers. He was loaded and most people knew it. His job was to close sales several times a day from one to two dozen users on a digital phone account. He got good sales cash from the sales and numbered user count that rose daily. The client set monthly targets for him to meet. He managed his support to guide the agents to get more sales from the leads they generated. It was all money in his bank and on the client’s account. A supervisor worked closely with him. An equally talented but ruthless guy who could sell equally well with a position higher than his chair. Honesty wasn’t his thing except in work. Not to be late or be seen to commit actual fraud. Fake God was somewhat honest and both made a daunting team which brought results. He never needed to do this for he was a best seller. Only Fake God could be account manager and his lap dog simply wasn’t good enough. Nobody filled his boots. This was proven when the Fake God was suspended for a month for taking a rep’s incentive. The six thousand he pocketed cost him ninety four thousand from his hundred k a month manager’s total salary. He regretted his action and never did it again unlike his lap dog. He did regular upsells of four users for the magic number was five. Get special treatment then even if the business was just one customer. If the customer agreed he was safe. The business model they used was put together by Fake God and his lap dog in 2019 and still in use years later. Others tried to copy it and failed. How it worked didn’t matter only the success if returned. If the account ever pulled out the pair of them would go elsewhere and do it all again. Both fitted together like a cock in a pussy or the Fake God inside his typecast Wallflower. They were all part of the same call centre system.

 

 

 

Cute Dog

Imagine a supervisor who acted like a lap dog. When called he rushed over to his master. Quick as a flash with a waggy tail ready to please. Tell him to butt fuck you or cock suck and he would. With the demeanour of a pleasant pet dog wanting a stroke and a biscuit in exchange for a trick. This is the guy who was a coach then agent and finally supervisor. Also acting secretary sending emails to customers. A yes man anything goes type of person. A stool pigeon who was harmless in his way only talking to those he clicked with. Several observed him and ignored him. Unlike a pet dog you stroke and cajole. He was once reprimanded by the client for listing the wrong product on an email. He never did this again being a walking computer. Guys love your job and enjoy time in work he said to new agents. He did both being firmly embedded with the support. His tong was so far up their arses it came out of their mouths! What a sipsip!

 

call centre writing

 

By Force

The 2 call centre agents sat there

On idle time jeans around their ankles

Scratching each other’s’ jock itch

Till it stopped itching and bled

Then putting alcohol on it

Oh how it stung such pain!

Then they wanked the other off

Mutual masturbation till they came

It was the other agent who came first

His cum jetted onto the pc keyboard and floor

Then his pal came all over the place

Then security arrived to remove them both

By force if necessary for this was immoral!

 

 

Call Centre Life

The call centre was a hustle bustle of activity

The reps were all busy with headsets on

Listening to customers and watching screens

Typing while talking while working while thinking

Between calls some joked and laughed

Others dozed hoping to avoid an IR

8 hours a day Monday to Friday or weekends

5 days a week with 2 off often with RDOT

Rest Day Over Time which was mandatory

What wasn’t mandatory was reading the message!

TL would moan but hey you were busy drinking

Not thinking about work except when you was there

The Production Floor was vacant at 01

Such was call centre life always on the go

 

 

Real Bitch

The female called me up a free wifi call

Inbound coming to me

How nice of her to call

A youngish female caller

 

No chat or flirt or numbers exchange

You call me many times

Stop it or I will kill you

 

I don't care what country you are in

I will find you and kill you

Be nice I said she still ranted on

I let all my team listen to it

 

Her ranting evil recording

I'll watch my back just in case

The crazed called female hunts me

Killing me badly what a bitch

 

For her emotions were real

I know her email for revenge

Send her a dick pic

Suck that bitch

 

 

 

 

2 Egyptian Scam Brothers

There were 2 Egyptian brothers who lived in Miami

Both did scam call centres all over the world

They flew all over the globe setting up scams

Preferring to meet face to face with their tools

Who they used to scam innocent customers

Setting up fake legit call centres here and there

Small and medium centres worked best

Easier to hire and fire staff then and start over

Brian worked for 1 of the brothers’ years ago

And was owed money for pain gel sales

He was paid for 3 but not 32 outstanding sales

Brian wanted to kill both Egyptian brothers

But that was a little over the top so he reported them

On 47 different blogs and international crime sites

Including Interpol and the FBI to get even

Plus he would beat them up if he caught them

Beware of 2 Egyptian scamming call centre bros

 

 

Agent performance/fails month after month, chop time!/new job needed now

 

 

 

 

Middle Aged German

Brian felt it was time for change

Pressure of sales was huge

Even if the rewards were high

The ego boost was great

With nice money to spend

Yet he needed a change

Not going to Thailand

Then the Philippines to call

Six months in each country

Six seven more years doing this

Look at what he’d achieved

He proved it to all people

He could learn a new job

In his forties no easy feat

Way back in 2010 he was offered

A call centre job no he said

I want to requalify on the forklift

Put me thru for my test

Not some stupid call centre job

Now it was his main job

He’d had enough and wanted out

Maybe he’d go to Holland

And write full time instead

Of only part time due to now

A wage slave in the BPO

Albeit a very skilled one

On B2B accounts but hey

Brian missed Germany and well

New adventures were needed

Not just returning for a month

His future was an open book

One that he would soon rewrite

 

 

 

Eight Rice Cups

“How many cups of rice did you have Fred?” the body builder asked Fred.

 

“I ate one cup of rice mate,” Fred replied.

 

“Do you know how many I ate?”

 

“No I don’t, how many?”

 

“I had eight cups of rice!”

 

“That’s way too many mate!” Fred was shocked. Their lunch dinner break was only an hour. That included going from the call centre to the eating place, ordering food, eating it then going back. “Why did you have so many?”

 

“It’s free and all you can eat plus I’m bulking myself up for body building. I need the mass to turn into muscle.”

 

“I see. Yes I know you need the mass for muscle. It’s all carbs. My old workmate used to do that.”

 

“Yes. Free food helps so I’m not paying for each rice cup. I work out after shift every day. Do different muscle sets.”

 

“Good luck with it. I did weights a while ago but never ate a lot. Plus I did a manual job in a bakery. I’m full with what I’ve just eaten too.”

 

“Come on you two we need to go back now. We need to be back in the training room in five minutes,” one of the gals said. The body builder hurriedly finished his mean and Fred drank some more water. They were all learning Comcast tech support systems. It was intense with a power tripping trainer who only spoke in vernacular.

 

 

 

2^nd OM

The 2^nd OM asked the rep how he was. You get on with your team mates yes? He nodded and said he did. Then he told the 2^nd OM of his 2 stolen sales this week. One by the chat team and the other by the rival call centre. It was good he vented his annoyance and said he’d escalated it immediately. And it was good he said he wanted credit for his stolen sales. It was good that he told the 2^nd OM how the 1^st OM had been before. How elitist his support team had been. That was fine if they were a military unit of F16 Viper pilot splashing Russian stealth fighters. But it was a call centre and it was us and them. Now it’s changed and all is fine. He enjoyed telling the 2^nd OM he should be trained in all the Lead Generating, Fronting and Closing skills. Even if you never use them they’re there. It was a good talk.