call centre work? you wanna work there? go ahead... poems...

 

 

Call Beer

Drink a bottle of beer on your break

Just fifteen minutes to rush out

To the small store 200 yards away

Order a Red Horse drink it

And rush back partly tipsy

Such was the speed you drank it

This is what my pal did ages ago

When he worked in the call centre

Not on his dinner break oh no

It was his second break

Such stress on the calls

He needed a release!

 

 

 

Calibrated

One of the reps came to work

40 minutes before shift

And he dialled a lead

That belonged to a rep

Not his own you know

He got a call back later

After a good chat

And later still a sale

He was beasted by the TL

You took a rep’s lead

Before he was even here

It’s fine on lunch or break

Then they need calling

But not before shift

I’ll give you credit

On the user count

And for being aggressive

But the incentive

Belongs to the lead owner

Do not do it again

Is that clear to you all?

Let’s be calibrated here

Like a car engine

Or it’s NTE time!

 

 

 

750k

Nobody got a sale

The supervisor forecast 7 sales

In reality there were none

One customer who’d tried

Three times to buy there service

Found out why from his bank

His bank account was restricted

He told the agent this and it was surprising

His ATM and cards were all frozen

He had to physically withdraw cash

Over the counter inside the bank

The rep urged the customer to fix this

Get a card up and running to pay

The activation fee and for future use

How can you be a successful company?

If you have to physically go to the bank

The reason was simple and huge

The customer had 750,000 dollars stolen

The bank had frozen his cards

All payments in or out were manual

For the foreseeable future and the rep’s sale

Was on hold till all this was sorted out