Call Beer
Drink a bottle of beer on your break
Just fifteen minutes to rush out
To the small store 200 yards away
Order a Red Horse drink it
And rush back partly tipsy
Such was the speed you drank it
This is what my pal did ages ago
When he worked in the call centre
Not on his dinner break oh no
It was his second break
Such stress on the calls
He needed a release!
Calibrated
One of the reps came to work
40 minutes before shift
And he dialled a lead
That belonged to a rep
Not his own you know
He got a call back later
After a good chat
And later still a sale
He was beasted by the TL
You took a rep’s lead
Before he was even here
It’s fine on lunch or break
Then they need calling
But not before shift
I’ll give you credit
On the user count
And for being aggressive
But the incentive
Belongs to the lead owner
Do not do it again
Is that clear to you all?
Let’s be calibrated here
Like a car engine
Or it’s NTE time!
750k
Nobody got a sale
The supervisor forecast 7 sales
In reality there were none
One customer who’d tried
Three times to buy there service
Found out why from his bank
His bank account was restricted
He told the agent this and it was surprising
His ATM and cards were all frozen
He had to physically withdraw cash
Over the counter inside the bank
The rep urged the customer to fix this
Get a card up and running to pay
The activation fee and for future use
How can you be a successful company?
If you have to physically go to the bank
The reason was simple and huge
The customer had 750,000 dollars stolen
The bank had frozen his cards
All payments in or out were manual
For the foreseeable future and the rep’s sale
Was on hold till all this was sorted out
