call centre poems from new book out late 2023/early 2024
Maybe Gal
The maybe gal trained the newbies on the account
She always spoke in vernacular so the foreigner
Had to ask the others to translate which they did
This always put him a sentence behind
When it came to the main exam
He did his best but failed it by 2 points
The retest he failed it by 1 point
So he was booted out and that was that
This was after he listened to calls
On the production floors and practiced
With his wave mates all to no avail
They passed and went onto do live calls
He went on to another company
Where some of his wave mates later went
The client his old account pulled out!
So all the reps left that call centre
And went to where he was now
Just like the old days hehe
With no trainer who talked in vernacular
Pizazz Discrepancy
Get the sales I order you to get the sales
Do not ever commit fraud or manipulate metrix
This is a no no in this business just sell sell sell!
Make it the real deal go take the customer’s money
It’s sitting there in their pockets go and get it
As I got several thousand bucks off a trusted rep
After I closed a sale and made the account grow
This is what I do adding a bit of Pizazz to the numbers
You’re only as good as your last sale and chase the next one
I got the rep’s sale and wanted my sixty percent readies
This he gave me for the system I set up will not allow
Any easy light of day manipulation so I told him it’s your sale
And I got the cash and he got a sale and I was all smug
Till the accountants found the discrep in the figures
Hey we got a problem they don’t match up what’s going on?
Six thou were missing and they sniffed it out what went on
This was an extra nail in the top boss’ coffin out he want
BPO
Work a forty hour week or more
Five nights a week for pay
Get a bonus if you hit the targets
Drink every two weeks when paid
Till you fall over have more and crawl
Celebration BPO style wage slave job
Dial the fucking customers do as told
Stressed to Hell and back be quiet DIAL!
You wanna work in a call centre?
Go ahead you better be ready
For stress orders drinking and more
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