call centre poems from new book out late 2023/early 2024

 call centre poems from new book out late 2023/early 2024

 

 

 

 

Maybe Gal

The maybe gal trained the newbies on the account

She always spoke in vernacular so the foreigner

Had to ask the others to translate which they did

This always put him a sentence behind

When it came to the main exam

He did his best but failed it by 2 points

The retest he failed it by 1 point

So he was booted out and that was that

This was after he listened to calls

On the production floors and practiced

With his wave mates all to no avail

They passed and went onto do live calls

He went on to another company

Where some of his wave mates later went

The client his old account pulled out!

So all the reps left that call centre

And went to where he was now

Just like the old days hehe

With no trainer who talked in vernacular

 

 

 

 

Pizazz Discrepancy

Get the sales I order you to get the sales

Do not ever commit fraud or manipulate metrix

This is a no no in this business just sell sell sell!

Make it the real deal go take the customer’s money

It’s sitting there in their pockets go and get it

As I got several thousand bucks off a trusted rep

After I closed a sale and made the account grow

This is what I do adding a bit of Pizazz to the numbers

You’re only as good as your last sale and chase the next one

I got the rep’s sale and wanted my sixty percent readies

This he gave me for the system I set up will not allow

Any easy light of day manipulation so I told him it’s your sale

And I got the cash and he got a sale and I was all smug

Till the accountants found the discrep in the figures

Hey we got a problem they don’t match up what’s going on?

Six thou were missing and they sniffed it out what went on

This was an extra nail in the top boss’ coffin out he want

 

 

 

BPO

Work a forty hour week or more

Five nights a week for pay

Get a bonus if you hit the targets

Drink every two weeks when paid

Till you fall over have more and crawl

Celebration BPO style wage slave job

Dial the fucking customers do as told

Stressed to Hell and back be quiet DIAL!

You wanna work in a call centre?

Go ahead you better be ready

For stress orders drinking and more