call centre poems

 

 

What If?

Brian never thought he would work in a call centre

When he lived in Germany he was unemployed

And while looking for a job he was forced to go

Work in a call centre and refused creating a fuss

I’m not selling insurance or loft insulation!

Put me on fork lift truck training it’s my job

Not some shit call centre 2 towns away

 

The stupid bitch running the training place

Offered to buy Brian a bicycle and he laughed!

You silly fucking cow retrain me on fork lifts

I need to renew my outdated licence

Not work taking calls like a fool robot

Half a decade passed and Brian

Ate his words working in a call centre!

 

 

Cashing

A call centre job is a slave job

Like digging holes in the road

Or painting a truck with a toothbrush

Go work in a call centre

Do this do that all at once!

Multi task you’re all smart

Do more than one thing at once

We trained you and pay you

You’re the best so get on with it!

Make us some bloody money

 

 

 

 

Not Hopping

Some trainers in the BPO industry

Have worked in 20 or 30 different places

Brian met 2 or more such trainers

Both had worked in dozens of centres

Between a month’s training and years

Finally settling down to train others

Being Hoppers no more job to job

Instilling their skills info knowledge

With wisdom guidance mind set

It takes skill to be a trainer

And something else to excel

Getting the next generation ready

Reps support trainers OMs

 

 

 

BPO

Work a forty hour week or more

Five nights a week for pay

Get a bonus if you hit the targets

Drink every two weeks when paid

Till you fall over have more and crawl

Celebration BPO style wage slave job

Dial the fucking customers do as told

Stressed to Hell and back be quiet DIAL!

You wanna work in a call centre?

Go ahead you better be ready

For stress orders drinking and more

 

 

Improving

I had a good talk with the manager

About my numbers the account and sales

You need to do this and that

 

Yes I shall do my best boss

Here are my suggestions

To make the account better

 

First there is…

Next there is this…

Followed by this…

And lastly this…

 

Please see that this is done boss

So the account is smooth

Without issue or trouble

 

What a good meeting we had

I’m so glad the boss listened

Much will improve